jonny Lupsha Cookbook Entry Four - Orange Ninja Teriyaki Pork Roast.

I hate to get too fancy for some of you men out there, but this recipe requires a crock pot.

Foods:

for marinade

15 oz. teriyaki sauce

12 oz. ginger ale

10 oz. soy sauce

8 tsp. orange marmalade

1.25 cups white wine or sake

2 tsp. wasabi

for pork

~ 3 lbs. pork tenderloin, trimmed

4 tsp. wasabi

for rice

2 cups long grain white rice

1 tsp. ground mustard

Pour all liquids into crock pot for marinade, add marmalade and wasabi and stir until liquified. Filet, rinse and trim pork into two long tenderloins, rub with wasabi and put into marinade. Cook on low for about 3 and a half to four hours - flip pork over at halfway point.

About 45 minutes from the end, get that rice going. Pour 4 cups water into medium pot, add mustard, add rice, heat on medium. When the water starts to boil, turn to lowest setting and cover for about 30 to 35 minutes. You'll know the rice is done when you can spoon up some from the bottom and there's no more water and the rice is starting to stick to the bottom.

When pork is done, remove from crock pot, shred, ladle sauce over and serve in bowls over rice or on plates next to it. For color, add some parsley or broccoli to the side. Easily serves 4 with sauce and rice leftovers.

Note: If you don't have a crock pot, you can probably slow cook the pork in the oven at something like 250 for an hour or two, or let the pork marinate in tupperware with the sauce overnight then grill it, but I've never tried that so make sure you play around with it before breaking it out in front of company.

Radiohead - The King of Limbs.

Here's a photo essay inspired by Radiohead's new album, The King of Limbs.


01. Bloom








02. Morning Mr. Magpie







03. Little by Little







04. Feral







05. Lotus Flower






06. Codex







07. Give Up the Ghost

08. Separator

jonny Lupsha Cookbook Entry Three - Shrimp Caesar Lettuce Wraps.

Ingredients:

- 1 lb. whole or detailed cooked shrimp

- 1/2 head of lettuce

- 16 to 18 croutons

- 12 grape tomatoes

- 1/2 cup Caesar salad dressing

- 1/4 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

- 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

Cooking utensils:

- Chopping block

- Mixing bowl

- Butcher knife

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: N/A

Okay! The great thing about this recipe is that it's all prep, no cooking, can't be made wrong and makes you look like a culinary champ. If you've got a date you need to impress, fire this up with or without his/her help, and don't forget the fancy serving dishes and two appetizer plates. You add a movie and a classy drink to this meal and you're in great shape.

First, a pre-prep warning. Everything in the recipe besides the lettuce and croutons are mushy and squishy enough that A) you need to crack, rinse and drain your lettuce an hour or two in advance and B) you can't skimp on the croutons, but you should save them for last.

So pull those tails off the shrimp and throw them out; pre-cooked tails are shit for frying. You can cut them or buy de-tailed shrimp but that means less shrimp meat for dinner. Cut each shrimp into three or four pieces; if you segment them along the body they'll each be almost marble-sized. Throw them in a mixing bowl.

Measure and add the dressing in, then quarter each grape tomato and add them, then the pepper - and don't skimp on the pepper. The shrimp and Caesar are just salty enough that you need that pepper to balance them out. Add the parmesan.

Prep your lettuce leaves. My best luck has been to gently pull one entire leaf off the head, rip the white/stem portion off then carefully tear it in half to get two wrap leaves. You'll want about a dozen total.

Count out 16 to 18 croutons, put them in a small Ziplock and beat them with the back of a butcher knife. Yeah, you read that right. Don't make bread crumbs out of them, but break them down a good deal. Pour them into the bowl and mix it all up.

That's about it! No ovens, stovetops, slow cookers or broiling. Spoon some of the mix into a wrap, roll it up and enjoy. If you want to make this recipe your own, feel free to get adventurous by adding some fresh-cooked bacon or trading out Caesar for a vinaigrette with some wine-soaked pine nuts. If that doesn't wow 'em, s/he's not worth wowing.

Music Awards 2010.

Employee of the Month

(Song of the Year)

Winner: Nine Inch Nails - "Theme from Tetsuo: The Bullet Man" / Gorillaz - "Doncamatic" (Tie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu9bm-RJMWM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJQyTnD74gk

"Theme from Tetsuo: The Bullet Man" and "Doncamatic" are two amazing, amazing songs for practically opposite reasons. Each of them deserve thorough explanation.

It's no secret that Nine Inch Nails are my favorite band, but I try to exercise a healthy caution of that when considering and broadcasting my favorite music of the year. Having said that, "Tetsuo" is a brilliant five minutes of music. As near as I can tell, the film is the third in a trilogy about a man who finds himself partially changing into a machine. I don't know if it's closer to Kafka's Metamorphosis or id Software's Quake 4, but Trent Reznor's theme for it is pretty bang-on. It gets off to a rough first minute, but it's all smiles thereafter. Part throbbing electronics, part solemn piano, part crashing horns and cymbals, it's as juxtaposed as music comes, but its chord progressions and themes collide perfectly in an acquired, but worthwhile, taste.

"Doncamatic" is almost the opposite. I didn't think I'd find an easier-to-hear song than "Broken," on this year's Gorillaz album Plastic Beach, but then "Doncamatic" was released as a stand-alone single themed on PB. Daley is a great singer by himself, but for once in my life I find myself enjoying the use of autotune in a song. The verses groove and shimmer, the pre-chorus brings the energy up effortlessly and just enough, and the chorus is sexy without being slutty, catchy as can be and silky smooth. Great production, great songwriting, great performances. It's simple, sure, but it's been stuck in my head every day since it came out, and isn't that what pop music is for?

Runner-up: Dillinger Escape Plan - "Farewell, Mona Lisa"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q5qvft2i-s

Dillinger's jackknife prog-metal isn't for everyone, but once you've heard any one song by them a few times, it's worth getting used to for the payoff. There's no better example of that (besides "Baby's First Coffin") than this year's "Farewell, Mona Lisa." I knew as soon as I heard Greg scream out "You should never have put your trust in any of us" this was a song I had to listen to on repeat until I knew it like the back of my hand.

Back from the Dead: The Zombie Award

(The Comeback)

Winner: Massive Attack - Heligoland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02Cqyq4gj-w

Maybe you'd argue this can't count since Massive Attack technically came back in '09 with their EP for "Splitting the Atom," which led up to Heligoland, but these are my awards so I'm breaking the rules. Do something about it.

After releasing 100th Window in 2003, it seemed as though Massive Attack would never release their next album. Reportedly it was Blur/Gorillaz man Damon Albarn who got 3D and Daddy G together working in the studio and they dropped Heligoland in February, nearly seven years after Window. Opting to provide each song on the album as a soundtrack for a short film rather than produce music videos, Massive Attack also enlisted guests from long-time collaborator Horace Andy, TV on the Radio's Tunde Adebimpe, Martina Topley-Bird, Hope Sandoval and Guy Garvey. It trades in Window's electronic-based droning for frequently (but not always) organic sounds: The Albarn-led "Saturday Come Slow" and Adebimpe's crooner "Pray for Rain" are testament to that. All in all, a great return from a great band.

Runner-Up: Stone Temple Pilots - Stone Temple Pilots

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnjISLJLQKI

Ah, Stone Temple Pilots. Ever since they cancelled a concert I was supposed to go to on Maui in the late '90s, I always got more enjoyment than I should've out of their trials and tribulations. Even still, when they disappeared after 2001's Shangri-La Dee Da I found myself missing one of the few remaining grunge-era bands still in existence. So when they suddenly announced that they were reuniting and happened to have a new album in the chamber to fire off last summer, it was good news all-around. They returned with their country-laced garage rock a la Tiny Music and, despite lagging a bit in its second half, tracks like "Take a Load Off" and "Maver" really help make this album a frequent spinner for lazy weekend afternoons.

Licensed to Ill

(Soundtrack of the Year)

Winner: Normand Corbeil - Heavy Rain / Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross - The Social Network (Tie)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woMbRTBWJQs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SBNCYkSceU

Another tie. Normand Corbeil's score for David Cage's mind-blowing interactive drama Heavy Rain on PlayStation 3 isn't merely guilty by association of being great; its themes and fully-orchestrated pieces give weight and meaning to the game unlike any other supporting music I've heard in 2010. The 16 tracks on this score are full of loss, sorrow, hope and tension and deserve to be experienced alongside the game on a great sound system.

Reznor and Ross do an equally impressive job scoring David Fincher's Oscar-hopeful film about greed, self-delusion and technology. They said they tried to utilize a mixture of organic and electronic instrumentation throughout, and as the script constantly bears down on the viewer with threats and tension to its characters, so does the score complement that sentiment with sounds "fraying around the edges." Easy to hear with or without the movie, but each song plays a pretty perfect part alongside the film.

Runner-Up: Anamanaguchi - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (Video Game)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RmrMOEo1VI

How do Anamanaguchi make their 8-bit-inspired action music for this old-school beat-em-up? They use a hacked NES. Need I say more?

Annual Employee Pot-Luck

(Collaboration of the Year)

Broken Bells - Broken Bells

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWBG1j_flrg

The Shins' James Mercer teaming up with Danger Mouse? Yes, mate! I've considered making a Danger Mouse mix recently, as his full, organic sound is instantly recognizable. He may go down in history as the guy who mashed up Jay-Z and The Beatles, or as half of Gnarls Barkley, but it would be a sin to dismiss his work with Gorillaz, The Good The Bad & The Queen and DangerDoom. Broken Bells follows suit, and I feel like his production and James Mercer's vocals are everything that a lot of bands are trying to be but aren't. This album trots along from start to finish and is more than worth your hard-earned dollars.

Honorable Mentions

(Honorable Mentions)

None of these quite fit into one category as a winner, but I'd like to point you to some of the following efforts in music. I feel they're more than worth their salt and have happily earned their place on my mix of my favorite 2010 music.

Deftones' Diamond Eyes is a fantastic rock album. I personally think a few tracks lag here and there, but a new friend turned me onto it at its release and I'm glad he did. Tracks like "You've Seen the Butcher" and "Rocket Skates" stand out immediately, but easily 80% of Diamond Eyes is a real treat. I also really liked the soundtrack for the film Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, which has music by Scott's band Sex Bob-Omb (written and mostly performed by Beck). Producer extraordinaire Nigel Godrich has his hand in there too, as do Frank Black, The Rolling Stones and Plumtree. Finally, against all odds, Soundgarden returned with a new single, "Black Rain," which sounds instantly classic. If their rumored reunion album sounds as good, they may win Back from the Dead next year.

Juiciest Brains 2010

(Album of the Year)

Winner: The Ocean - Heliocentric + Anthropocentric

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9LUw2JWLkI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyTQ6rrmW6A

Oh man. What can I say about The Ocean's two-album concept ruminating on mankind's and Earth's place in the universe? When the first disc, Heliocentric, was released in February, I initially heard it at work. It was about halfway through and I turned to a co-worker and said "If Anthropocentric is half this good when it comes out this fall, they may be my album of the year." And it was, and they are.

As you can tell by the disparity between the two songs linked above, The Ocean aren't afraid to take chances. Some may argue that the source material for their contemplation of Christianity, Anthropocentricity and morality is lofty or convoluted (from Darwin to Dawkins, from Nietzsche to Dostoyevsky), but the sheer volume of research and quality of lyrical and vocal content represented across these 20 tracks outweigh any complaints to be made. New vocalist Loic Rossetti screams, croons and vibratos his way across Robin Staps and co.'s 100-minute masterpiece of prog-metal, classical ballads and post-rock. All musicians are always on point and right where they need to be, and producer/guitarist/chief songwriter Robin Staps delicately balances up to 20 tracks simultaneously. From five-part vocal harmonies to string sections and waterfalls of guitars, it's a real orchestration from front to back. Get it immediately.

Runner-Up: Massive Attack - Heligoland

I think I said enough about Heligoland earlier, but I would like to add that it's a terrific listen all the way through and pleases the ear oddly at times, obviously at others. All killer, no filler. If you'd like to purchase it for me on vinyl, I wouldn't say no.

2nd Runner-Up: Gorillaz - Plastic Beach

I've always been impressed by Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett's animated zombie-pop project. Since its release in 2000, they've been on my radar and have yet to disappoint. They return this year with Plastic Beach, boasting a guest list including half of The Clash, Lou Reed, Snoop, Mos Def, Bobby Womack, Little Dragon, three different symphonic ensembles and more. This is the perfect springtime album: it's bright, light and to the point. I'm also enamored with the idea that the cartoon characters who represent the band have washed up onto a floating island of humanity's flushed detritus (hence the title). Not a bad track on it.

jonny Lupsha Cookbook, Entry Two - Avocados del Media.

Cooking Appliances -

- Oven

- Double Boiler

- Microwave

Ingredients -

- 1 avocado

- 2 strips bacon

- 1/2 habanero pepper

- 1/2 jalapeno pepper

- 8 oz. monterey jack cheese

- 1 thick slice of tomato

- a handful of cilantro

- 1/4 lime

- 1 tsp. ground cumin

- 1 serving tortilla chips

Ok, this one has a lot of prep/cook time (by the standards of someone with an infant to entertain, anyway) so let's get right to it. The good thing is, about half the ingredients here will be diced, chopped or minced and thrown into the rest. This is a great lunch for one, but read through before trying yourself - you may want to switch around the order of some of the prep and cooking so you can have it all hot and finished at the same time.

Remove the seeds from the habanero and jalapeno and de-vein them - if you can't take the heat. Otherwise, leave them with the flesh of the peppers. Slice and dice both and mix them up together.

Now, pull the cilantro leaves off the stems and mince the shit out of them. You want almost all the pieces to be the perfect size to stick in your teeth and ruin a first date or job interview.

Pre-heat your oven to 350 and continue the recipe as follows. When the oven reaches 350, put the bacon in for 10 to 15 minutes, flip it, and let it go for another 10 to 15 minutes.

Throw your half-pound block of Monty Jack in the double boiler on low-medium heat. It's probably a good idea to slice it into small cubes or shred it. Keep an eye on it and stir it while you prep the rest of the ingredients.

Halve the avocado and use a spoon to get that enormous pit (and its skin flakes) out of there. Then keep using your trusty spoon to get the pulp of the avocado away from that dark green skin. Throw away, or burn in your backyard, the skin and the pit.

By now the Jack should be near melted. Pour in the cumin, peppers and most of the cilantro (saving two pinches for later), and of course, keep stirring. Yeah, we're making awesome from-scratch pepper jack sauce.

As the bacon finishes, put your avocado halves in a microwave for 45 seconds (with an apple, if possible - the chemicals will keep the avocado extra moist while they're irradiated with warm, nuclear delight). Take this 45-second opportunity to cut the tomato slice into six wedges (like pizza slices), chop the bacon into little bacon flakes and quarter your lime. Take the quarter of lime you're using and cut it in half as well.

Ok, now it's mostly a matter of presentation. Place the avocado halves, insides facing up, on your serving plate. Fill the pit holes with generous scoops of the pepper jack, then three tomato wedges apiece, then one more layer of pepper jack, some bacon flakes and the remainder of the cilantro. Squirt those lime wedges onto each and serve with the chips. If you're like me, you probably have plenty of pepper jack leftover, and maybe some other ingredients, so feel free to pour those over your chips and make some quick nachos alongside your avocados.

Huck and Jim.

As a fan and student of literature, and as a person who liberally curses, I am appalled and truly disheartened by a new edition of Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, headed by Twain scholar and Auburn U professor Alan Gribben, that removes all uses of the words "nigger" and "Injun" and replaces them with "slave" and "Indian," respectively. Someone said it's offensive, to which I point the episode of The Simpsons in which they considered putting a pair of pants on Michelangelo's David.

I'll leave the actual reporting to the BBC article on the subject dated 01/06/11 and save all my space here for editorializing. It makes me groan enough to begin with that I should have to preface this discussion by proclaiming No, I'm not a racist, nor do I want those words remaining in Huck Finn to offend the peoples to whom they refer, which I think should be taken for granted. Now, I don't use "The N-Word," and I don't like when people make up cheap excuses to do so. I thoroughly enjoyed Saul Williams' attitude that it's a word that needs to be fully explored for its historical, cultural and sociological significances (and even purposes) in order to be understood. But even that isn't the issue with Mark Twain's novel. The problem with the Huck Finn edit is threefold: allowing censorship, altering history and affecting impact.

Since my wife and I had our daughter, I've been quietly tiptoeing from my extremist "free speech uber alles" stance on what is commonly referred to as "bad language" ("sure, let the kids hear it; what harm could it do?") to a quietly indecisive procrastination ("eh, we'll figure that out when the kids start talking"). I still believe wholeheartedly that as much as one can teach a child right from wrong and how to behave, offensive language is a part of that package as much as chewing with your mouth closed, not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say, keeping your pants up and boogers in tissues and not running amok in the grocery store. There's no reason on Earth to suddenly change 219 "niggers" to "slaves" just because it reddens a cheek or two. The word has been "nigger" for 140 years for a reason.

Slavery in any part of the world is one of the great atrocities. In my opinion there should be no pissing contest between "what's worse" - slavery, genocide, AIDS, child or animal abuse, whatever. They're all, in my eyes, pandemic horrors that truly need champions fighting to eradicate them from civilization, as do a dozen others. Nobody wants to celebrate subjugation of a race and the abominations that come with it, but that's no reason to ignore that it happened or what the attitudes of a people towards it were like at the time. As near as I can remember, part of the irony that Twain carries brilliantly throughout the book is that Jim, who ends up more of a father and friend figure to Huck than anybody else would care to, is constantly greeted with offensive slurs, derision and slave duty for his troubles. It may not make us happy to know he's been treated that way, but the fact is that he has been - until he's only referred to as "slave," which is not the word I've been told was snarled at hatefully in the 1800s at Africans/blacks worldwide. Reminding ourselves of the prejudice and injustice suffered by a people is good practice to avoid its recurrence.

And why not call them "African-Americans?" I'm glad you asked. Socially, that's an American-centric name that has evolved to referring to all people of African descent, but the United States hasn't tried to annex the rest of the planet yet so until we do, there's no logical reason to call fine African descendants in other countries "American."

Hearing Africans and American Indians called "niggers" and "Injuns" so frequently still makes me fidget a bit. I feel a little poorly reading, in the voice in my head, the parts of men and women who have the disdain to disregard Jim as one of those. But the reason I don't skip it is because of their very purpose. Removing such epithets would wear down Huck Finn's sociological impact to a nub. It's a fun adventure story, no doubt, but underneath it all beats the seething heart of satire and morality. To remove its anti-racist narrative (by removing its very racist dialogue) is to finally and utterly condemn it to be a children's book. And while there are some great lessons to be learned from children's books, I don't want one of those lessons to be that being a minority during the Civil War was really not that bad.

The pen is only mightier than the sword until you cork the tip. Leave the fucking book alone.

Some UFO's I Didn't See.

The first house we rented on Maui was at the end of a long, shared alley (or driveway, depending on how you look at it). There were three or four houses whose garages faced it and had little 5- or 10-foot driveways, and it was several hundred yards long leading to the cul-de-sac. Often I found myself staring up at the stars – there were no skyscrapers and few cars, so every night was good for stargazing – and it was on one of these occasions I didn’t see a flying saucer.

I caught it out of the corner of my eye. It was a tiny flaming dot traversing the night sky, and just as I opened my mouth to say “Hey, shooting star!” it reversed direction and flew back the way it came. It wasn’t a straight reversal though; it was a hairpin on a dime. The next day I asked an astronomy teacher at my brother’s high school what could cause that.

“Well, if it were a meteor breaking up it would’ve split up in two,” he said.

“Right.”

“…and there would’ve been trails, probably not a dot. If it hit something like another meteor or a satellite and ricocheted off, it would’ve slowed down a great deal. I mean, even hitting it head-on, and going almost straight backwards, it would still slow down a lot.”

“Is that physics?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Cool. Is that astrophysics?”

“Ehhhhhh, kind of. If you’re interested in physics, you should talk to one of the physics teachers here. Mr. Imada is – “

“So what object could just zip around and fly back like that?”

“I don’t know, jonny; are you telling me you think you saw a UFO?”

“Well, I didn’t see anything but that flaming dot. It could’ve been an airplane, or spaceship, satellite or meteor…I really didn’t see anything solid.”

“Still strange,” he concluded.

He never suggested a UFO, but it still didn’t sit well with me. It wasn’t until years later, after I’d moved to Georgia, then Virginia, I saw a tv special on UFO’s seen in space. Over satellite footage of a meteor colliding with another and reducing its speed (dramatically) and course (not so dramatically) from the impact, the narrator claimed that no known vehicle could change course so radically and suddenly and continue at such high speed, though several such sightings had been reported.

Coincidentally, it was less than a year after I saw that special I didn’t see another UFO. In fact, I didn’t see a whole fleet of them, in the sky, in broad daylight. I was working in a mall when it happened. I was an assistant manager at this store near Richmond, and it was right next to the main entrance to the building. I was running a Friday evening shift with two or three associates. As they walked the aisles, helping the customers, I was ringing at the register and doling out breaks.

I helped this middle-aged couple buy something for their kids and I got back to my shift. About a half hour later, they came jog-walking back in – the husband started talking to me when they were still in the hall.

“Well, Jesus, I can’t believe it.”

“What’s up, guys?”

“About eight or ten UFO’s out there, probably a dozen people just saw it.”

I vaulted over the counter and ran outside, leaving my keys with one of my associates. I hadn’t gotten a close-enough look at my strange object over Maui skies so I was determined. Of course by the time I got there, I’d missed them. The people outside were in a panic and talking to one another, or to 911.

“Maybe almost a dozen of them in a V formation…”

“…just floated right towards the mall and overhead…”

“…they almost stopped, then they zipped off so fast they broke the god-damn sound barrier did you hear that boom? That’s what it was.”

“Can I have a cigarette?”

“Sure thing, ma’am; way I see it they might be the last ones we ever get to smoke.”

“I was in the Air Force for 27 years and I never saw anything that could maneuver like that.”

“I didn’t see them at first, then someone pointed and said ‘Holy shit!’ and I turned my head and my God. Just…my God.”

I went back inside. The couple was stricken. They were white as sheets. They had this look on their faces and I recognized it immediately. It was the same as the look on the other students’ faces as we all watched in horror at the live feeds coming from Columbine High School or the World Trade Center. It was the look on everyone else’s faces outside that day. It was the look of finding out you’ve been tricked – swindled out of everything. It was the terror and certainty of finding out everything you thought was safe and normal in the world couldn’t be further from the truth.

Mall security came by about five minutes later to ask questions, but they knew there was nothing they could ask. They seemed even more scared than the witnesses. Everything was fine, they said. The police have been notified and there was nothing to worry about. I didn’t know if they were trying to convince the shoppers or themselves, but I don’t think either was particularly effective.

By the end of the night things had settled down back to normal, as things have a tendency to do. Anyone who claimed to see the UFO’s or had heard about them that day shopped and left, and the panic and facial expressions faded to an ordinary value. We locked up at 9pm and talked about it while we cleaned.

“If I didn’t see it myself…”

“It was probably just some airplanes or something.”

“You never hear about a bunch of people seeing UFO’s in the middle of the day, let alone in the suburbs,” someone else added. “It’s always in the country, so they can abduct big overall-wearing Billy Ray and give him an anal probe.”

We dropped the cash deposit at the ATM and headed out to our cars, and between the front door and our driver’s seats, we all watched the sky and walked just a bit more quickly than we usually did.